ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
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