Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
