Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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