he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
