Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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