I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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