on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
