So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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