...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
