i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
