The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
