"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
