Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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