God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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