and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
