i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
