do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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