I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
