Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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