I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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