I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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