And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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