Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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