i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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