No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize