im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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