After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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