What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Is Oprah even human
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
