At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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