I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
