I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
