Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
