im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
