Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(952): View more from Minnesota

True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.

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(317): View more from Indiana

One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom

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(309): View more from Illinois

I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(951): View more from California

She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.

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(334): View more from Alabama

seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.

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(561): View more from Florida

Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.

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