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• (917): View more from New York City

  sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though

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• (408): View more from California

  hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?

  (925): View more from California

  Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.

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• (830): View more from Texas

  she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (961): View more from

  I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit

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• (807): View more from Ontario

  Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything

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• (425): View more from Washington

  It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why did you want to do any of that?

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I just had sex on a roof

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