Texts From Last Night

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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.

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  (270): Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile (270): But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird. http://tfl.nu/vi1s
  Replies (1) Good night (781) Bad night (976)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich

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  (240): shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich http://tfl.nu/bipz
  Replies (78) Good night (2455) Bad night (1006)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.

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  (630): she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers. http://tfl.nu/u7sr
  Replies (9) Good night (922) Bad night (5223)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M

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  (954): I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M http://tfl.nu/v1d0
  Replies (26) Good night (7772) Bad night (1146)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.

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  (514): he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come. http://tfl.nu/c1dt
  Replies (20) Good night (861) Bad night (8274)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.

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  (203): Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being. http://tfl.nu/247a
  Replies (13) Good night (3674) Bad night (1348)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.

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  (314): If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die. http://tfl.nu/75m1
  Replies (10) Good night (2117) Bad night (1013)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.

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  (765): Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100. http://tfl.nu/hfgw
  Replies (5) Good night (1481) Bad night (797)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday

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  (954): I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday http://tfl.nu/q72i
  Replies (10) Good night (1709) Bad night (592)
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  (323): View more from California

  It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent

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  (323): It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent http://tfl.nu/xdm3
  Replies (12) Good night (2833) Bad night (736)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.

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  (407): I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom. http://tfl.nu/s7cn
  Replies (29) Good night (3660) Bad night (793)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way

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  (708): is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower? (1-708): head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way http://tfl.nu/d98n
  Replies (2) Good night (1491) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.

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  (307): i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears. http://tfl.nu/ndjg
  Replies (5) Good night (1386) Bad night (348)
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  (524): View more from

  I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.

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  (524): I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex. http://tfl.nu/y2h0
  Replies (6) Good night (353) Bad night (1612)
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  (530): View more from California

  im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.

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  (530): im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either. http://tfl.nu/lxlu
  Replies (5) Good night (500) Bad night (274)

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