Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.

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(816): My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won. http://tfl.nu/68w0

Replies (4) Good night (865) Bad night (966)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.

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(704): You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass. http://tfl.nu/jig4

Replies (18) Good night (5382) Bad night (594)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on

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(608): I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on http://tfl.nu/h45u

Replies (24) Good night (4719) Bad night (627)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent

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(608): I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent http://tfl.nu/fgks

Replies (24) Good night (4065) Bad night (820)
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(907): View more from Alaska

I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.

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(907): I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar. http://tfl.nu/wjyf

Replies (8) Good night (3518) Bad night (931)
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(516): View more from New York

Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?

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(516): Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes? http://tfl.nu/2qmc

Replies (6) Good night (2001) Bad night (925)
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(253): View more from Washington

Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?

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(253): Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls? http://tfl.nu/i6ht

Replies (18) Good night (3991) Bad night (682)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.

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(704): Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday. http://tfl.nu/1b1a

Replies (2) Good night (1098) Bad night (817)
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(925): View more from California

She still cant shoot whiskey?

(925): View more from California

Im having serious doubts about this relationship

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(925): She still cant shoot whiskey? (925): Im having serious doubts about this relationship http://tfl.nu/o90t

Replies (3) Good night (1255) Bad night (666)
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(316): View more from Kansas

Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.

(1-316): View more from Kansas

I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.

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(316): Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend. (1-316): I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome. http://tfl.nu/5svt

Replies (2) Good night (775) Bad night (1035)
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(+61): View more from Australia

I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.

(1+61): View more from

Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.

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(+61): I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover. (1+61): Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer. http://tfl.nu/so7s

Replies (5) Good night (1570) Bad night (594)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children

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(931): I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children http://tfl.nu/92r8

Replies (4) Good night (799) Bad night (263)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.

(406): View more from Montana

YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.

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(570): HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS. (406): YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE. http://tfl.nu/futb

Replies (2) Good night (666) Bad night (197)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.

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(218): He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins. http://tfl.nu/4w92

Replies (5) Good night (357) Bad night (751)
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(360): View more from Washington

I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN

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(360): I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN http://tfl.nu/4lye

Replies (1) Good night (261) Bad night (605)

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