I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
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nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
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I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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