My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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