Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
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I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize