3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You need a sexual gate keeper
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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