I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
