I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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