Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
