our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
