I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
