tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You're a waste of cheezeits
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
