I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize