I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
