I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
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just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
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I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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