The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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