i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
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