so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
