well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
