so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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