Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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