after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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