awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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