brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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