I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
