I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
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The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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