im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm drive I can fine osifer
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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