Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
