I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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