im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
