god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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