my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
